Love makes the world go round, as the saying goes, and more magic spells are cast for matters of the heart than for any other purpose. Because emotion is one of the key ingredients in magic, it’s logical that love spells would be among the most powerful of all. Strong feelings, however, can sometimes cause confusion or throw you off balance. Therefore, use extra caution when performing love spells, and don’t let your heart rule your head.
Defining What You Want
What’s your reason for doing a love spell? Are you trying to attract a new romantic partner? Looking for your soul mate? Hoping to rekindle the spark in an existing relationship? The more specific you can be, the greater your chances of success.
Keep in mind that a love spell’s primary purpose isn’t to make someone fall in love with you. Its purpose is to balance your own energy so you attract the partner who is right for you. A relationship results from the interaction of two people, two individual forces — yin and yang — that merge to form a sum greater than the parts.
“Relationships are the Holy Spirit’s laboratories in which He brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth. He appraises who can learn most from whom at any given time, and then assigns them to each other.” — Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
One would think this should be easy, but for many people it’s not. Your ideas may be influenced by the expectations of your family, your friends, or the culture in which you live. Your perceptions about the ideal mate might be conditioned by television and movies, books and magazines, and all sorts of societal stereotypes, as well as by unconscious archetypes. Most likely, your conceptions of relationships and what you want in a partner contrast dramatically with the ideas that your grandmother held. The reasons a man in Zimbabwe marries could be quite different from those that unite a couple in Sweden. Even you and your best friend may not agree on what constitutes a good relationship.
Your Love List
Before you do any love spells, make a list of the qualities you seek in a partner. The act of compiling this list will prompt you to really think about your needs, desires, hopes, and priorities, to put energy and intent behind the process of manifesting your objectives. In a sense, your list becomes a spell. Like an affirmation, you state your intentions — what you intend to find in a partner — and focus your mind toward achieving these objectives.
Your list can be as long and as detailed as you choose. As you write your list, be sure to state your desires in a positive way and in the present tense. Here are some examples:
- I now have a partner who respects and values me.
- I can trust and rely on my partner at all times and in all situations.
- My partner and I support and encourage each other’s goals.
- My partner and I share a spiritual path.
- My partner and I have many common interests and enjoy one another’s company.
- I now have a mate who is willing and able to enter into a committed, loving, primary partnership with me.
Be specific. Consider every angle. Cover all your bases. You might want to let a trusted friend read your list and provide feedback, so you don’t overlook anything. A woman made a long and detailed love list that described all the qualities she sought in a mate. Soon afterward, she met the man of her dreams. Unfortunately, he was already married to someone else, a point she’d forgotten to include on her love list.
Defining Who You Are
Before you can attract a romantic partner who’s right for you, you have to love yourself. It sounds simple enough, but many people have grown up believing that they aren’t worthy or that they aren’t attractive or intelligent enough, and they undermine their chances of establishing healthy, happy relationships. So before you start doing love spells, spend a little time uncovering your beliefs about yourself.
If you find that you hold negative beliefs about yourself, try one of author Louise Hay’s most fundamental and powerful affirmations: “I love and approve of myself.” Say it out loud while staring at yourself in the mirror. Write it down and stick the note on your fridge, your computer, or wherever you’ll see it frequently. Yes, you probably will feel a bit foolish at first, but that just means the affirmation is working. When you repeat something often enough, your unconscious mind eventually gets the message.
Online matchmaking services often ask you to create a personal profile. Even if you have no intention of doing computer dating, it can be helpful to write a brief synopsis of yourself, outlining your positive qualities as if you were trying to entice a prospective partner. Write a paragraph that highlights all your assets — don’t be shy!
Magic, Free Will, and Manipulation
Love spells tend to be the trickiest of all, the place where many magicians go astray and dabble in black magic. That’s not to say they hex their partners or wish anything evil to happen. But the heart isn’t rational, and powerful emotions can interfere with good judgment. When you want someone really badly, it can be hard to refrain from using magic to manipulate that person.
What makes a spell manipulative? The main criterion to look for is whether it violates another person’s free will.You don’t have to actively harm someone to misuse magic. Any time you force or coerce a person through magical means to do something he wouldn’t do of his own volition, you’re on shaky ground. Whenever your desire to get what you want overshadows your respect for another person’s rights, you’re leaning in the wrong direction.
The book Naughty Spells/Nice Spells by Skye Alexander suggests that before you do a love spell you “Consider the possible consequences — are you willing to accept what happens? Would you advise your best friend to do it? How would you react if someone did it to you? Trust your feelings — if you don’t feel right about it, don’t do it.”
The Right Way to Do Love Spells
Let’s say you’re interested in a certain individual and want to entice that person into a romantic relationship. Your intention and the way you word a spell can make a big difference in the quality of the outcome. Instead of stating, “Joe and I are now lovers,” word your affirmation like so: “Joe and I now enjoy the best possible relationship we can have together.” Then, if it’s best for the two of you to be lovers, that’s what will happen. If, on the other hand, another type of relationship would serve you and Joe better, you’ll put yourself in a position to experience what’s best for both of you.
When you do a spell to tie a partner to you, you also bind yourself to that person. The bond can be extremely hard to break if you decide later on that your perfect lover isn’t perfect after all. Before you do a love spell, be absolutely certain about what you want. Even so, it’s wise to turn over the end result to a higher power.
The ideal way is to let the universe find the right mate for you. Instead of fixating on a particular person, do a spell to attract the partner who’s right for you. This might turn out to be the individual you’ve got your eye on, but maybe there’s someone even better out there whom you haven’t met yet. Doing magic with an open mind and an open heart sends your message into the cosmic web — like posting your request with a magical matchmaking service — so that your perfect partner can receive it and respond.
Doing Spells with a Partner
When it comes to doing magic, two hearts can be better than one — provided you both are in agreement. The blend of yin and yang energies forms a strong, balanced creative force. Doing a spell with a partner to increase the love between you can be a very powerful and beautiful experience. Many couples do magic together to conceive a child or for other joint purposes.
Before you begin, discuss your intentions and your feelings about the spell you plan to do. Each of you should have input in designing and casting the spell. Unless one person is significantly more skilled than the other, try to make your roles in the ritual equal, so that neither partner dominates. Remember, the outcome will affect both of you.
Timing Love Spells
As you already know, each day of the week is governed by a planet, and each planet rules specific areas of life. Astrologers connect Venus with love and relationships, and Friday is Venus’s day. In order to tip the odds in your favor, do the love spells in this chapter on Friday, unless stated otherwise.
Libra is the zodiac sign of relationships. You’ll get an added energy boost if you perform a love spell when the moon and/or the sun is in Libra. Taurus embodies the physical side of love, so if you want to turn up the heat in a romance, consider doing your spell when the sun and/or moon is in Taurus.
If you’re trying to attract a new partner, do a spell on the new moon. If you want to increase the joy or passion in an existing relationship, or to nudge a budding affair into full bloom, do your spell when the moon is waxing. To end an unfulfilling relationship, do magic while the moon is waning.
If you know astrology or can consult with an astrologer, look for periods when transiting or progressed Venus influences your birth chart in a positive way, or when Jupiter makes a favorable contact with your natal Venus or seventh house. Avoid doing love spells when transiting or progressed Saturn, Uranus, or Pluto forms a difficult connection with Venus, the moon, or the relationship houses in your chart.
Clean Up Your Love Life
This spell is based on the feng shui concept that clutter in your home signifies confusion, blockages, and messiness in your life. It requires no tools and can be done anytime — the sooner the better!
Stand at the entrance you use most often to go in and out of your home, facing inside. Locate the furthest, right-hand section of your home (as seen from your position). This is your relationship area. Notice what’s in this space. If it’s cluttered, go clean it up. Get rid of old stuff that you don’t need or use anymore. In feng shui, old stuff represents old baggage and things from your past that may be holding you back. Organize what you choose to keep so it’s neat and orderly.
Pay attention to the things you place in this area, for their symbolism is an important part of the spell. Old, faded, worn-out objects represent a love life that’s lost its sparkle. Broken items indicate broken dreams or a physical breakup. Display things in this sector that symbolize what you desire in a romantic relationship or that signify hope, joy, and love.
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